Welcome to TwiChat
by littlemiss-imperfect
Summary: the twilight characters all get their own chat accounts, who knows what crazy things will happen!
1. Chapter 1: spanish crack

Welcome to Twi-Chat, by moonwillow427 and xjenalaylayx1901. Chapter one: Spanish crack

Rosalie: rosebudz

Bella: vampwolf

Edward: anti-werewolf

Jacob: nessieluver

Emmett: topguns

Esme: myhubbysparklz

Carlisle:

Alice: pixiewithagift

Jasper: jazzypants

Renesmee: cuddlekinz

**Nessieluver has signed in.**

**Cuddlekinz has signed in**

**Anti-werewolf has signed in**

**Topguns has signed in**

Cuddlekinz: Daddy why are you always so mean to jakey-poo?

Anti-werewolf: because before you were born he tried to steal your mother away from me

Nessieluver: DID NOT! I was just giving her options

Anti-werewolf: you kissed her and she punched you and broke her hand, that, my friend, is sexual assault

Topguns: hey Nessie wanna see an army of vampire bunnies?

Cuddlekinz: OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Topguns has logged off**

**Cuddlekinz has logged off**

**Vampwolf has logged on**

Anti-werewolf and nessieluver: BELLA!

Vampwolf: um, hi

**Pixiewithagift has logged on**

Pixiewithagift: hola seniors es seniorita

Ant-werewolf: why are you talking in Spanish, Alice

Pixiewithagift: que?

Vampwolf: well this conversation is going nowhere I'm out

Anti-werewolf: Bella, love, don't leave

Vampwolf: I won't if you change your name to Eduardo deablo!

Ant-werewolf: Bella, are you alright?

Vampwolf: I'm peachy! You're the one who's always has the pole up your but being all like, I hope I don't kill you Bella!

Anti-werewolf: Bella, did you get into Emmet's stash again, and you're a vampire now so I don't necessarily do that anymore

Vampwolf: Edward just do it or I'll send Emmett's army of vampire bunnies to devour your soul!

**Vampwolf has logged out**

Anti-werewolf: I HAVE NO SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Anti-werewolf has logged out**

**EduardoDiablo has signed in**

Nessieluver: who the hale is Eduardo Diablo?

Pixiewithagift: ha! I get it, like jasper and Rosalie hale! I get it, ha your good!!!!!!!!!! *snort*

EduardoDiablo: oh Alice did Bella share Emmett's crack stash with you?

Pixiewithagift: YOU KNOW IT GIRLFRAND!!!!!!!!!!!

Nessieluver: me 2 me 2 don't for get me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NACHOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EduardoDiablo: o dear lord am I the only sane one here?

**Topguns has signed in**

**Cuddlekinz has signed in**

Cuddlekinz: daddy what's crack?

Topguns:…………. ALICE BELLA AND JACOB HAS BEEN RAIDING MY STASH!!?????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!!?!?!?

EduardoDiablo: crack is dirty, like sex

Nessieluver: that's not what your daughter said in bed last night

Cuddlekinz: Jake u weren't supposed 2 say anything!

EduardoDiablo: JACOB I AM GOING TO KILL YOU NESSIE IS ONLY SIXTEEN SHE'S TO YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX WITH A FILTHY LITTLE MUTT LIKE YOU!

**EduardoDiablo has signed out**

Cuddlekinz: no daddy wait!

Nessieluver: shit gtg fight off the leech bye

**Nessieluver has signed out**

**Cuddlekinz has signed out**

Pixiewithagift: hey Emmett you wanna make out?

Top guns: that's the crack talking but ok!

**Pixiewithagift has signed out**

**Topguns has signed out**

**Rosebudz has signed on**

Rosebudz: damn it Emmett u and Alice are both dead! And your little crack stash too!!!!!!!!!! Your not getting any for 6 months!!!!!

**Rosebudz has signed out**

A/NThanks for reading hope you enjoyed it more coming soon!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2: who's that pokemon

Welcome to Twi-Chat chapter two, who's that Pokémon?

Rosalie: rosebudz

Bella: vampwolf

Edward: anti-werewolf

Jacob: nessieluver

Emmett: topguns

Esme: myhubbysparklz

Carlisle:

Alice: pixiewithagift

Jasper: jazzypants

Renesmee: cuddlekinz

**Jazzypants has signed in**

**Pixiewithagift has signed in**

**Ant-werewolf has signed in**

**Dimkaroza has signed in**

Jazzypants: hello Alice, Edward, and, um, who the hale r u?

Pixiewithagift: ya who are you?

Dimkaroza: I'm Demitri Belikov; I'm not from around here

Anti-werewolf: then where are you from?

Dimkaroza: your mother's vagina!

Jazzypants Pixiewithagift and Anti-werewolf: 0_o

Dimkaroza: what I was just kidding

Jazzypants: we all have the same mom

Dimkaroza: oh, well I'm embarrassed now bye

**Dimkaroza has signed out**

Pixiewithagift: what a freak

Anti-werewolf: ya no kidding, I bet he eats kittens for breakfast

Jazzypants and Pixiewithagift: ……………………………..

Anti-werewolf: what?

Jazzypants: what is wrong with you, Eddie?

Anti-werewolf: I am not Eddie!!!!!!!!!! My name is EDWARD! E-D-W-A-R-D Edward.

Pixiewithagift: god Edward you didn't have to spell it out

Anti-werewolf: =P

Pixiewithagift: hey that was my thing!

**Rose_an_dimmi has signed on**

**Vampwolf has signed on**

Pixiewithagift: oh great another person we don't know

Jazzypants: are you going to be nice like Demitri and tell us who you are?

Rose_an_dimmi: what? Demitri was on? And no you will have to guess who I am so ha!

Anti-werewolf: oh great she's too far away for me to read her mind

Vampwolf: WHO'S THAT POKEMON?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!? THANKS EM FOR THE STUFF IM HIGH WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ant-werewolf: damn it Emmett stop giving Bella vampire crack

Rose_an_dimmi: what? U guys are vampires too?

Pixiewithagift: too? Wait you're a vampire? Omygod are you Victoria?

Rose_an_dimmi: ummm who's Victoria and yes I'm a damphire

Ant-werewolf: what the forks is a damphire

Vampwolf: AH EDDIE I GET IT FORKS LIKE THE PLACE WE LIVE IN LOL HAHAHAHAHAHA UR SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!

Ant-werewolf: damn it Bella you are upsetting a bad example for out kid

Rose_an_dimmi: Aw you have a kid that's adorable

Pixiewithagift: hardly, she always talks to her stupid werewolf boyfriend Jacob who everyone her hates but her and Bella

Jazzypants: ya, it's almost as bad as Rosalie and Emmett always all over each other *shudder*

Rose_an_dimmi: okay well I have no idea what you're talking about.

**Cuddlekinz has signed on**

Cuddlekinz: o my gods are you Rose from the vampire academy series?

Rose_an_dimmi: ya and you must be Renesmee from the twilight series!

Cuddlekinz: I'm a book?

Rose_an_dimmi: oh, um, forget I said that who wants tacos?

**Topguns has signed on**

Topguns: oh I do! Me mememememememememe pick me! I'm hyper off a red bull!

Rose_an_dimmi: well come over and I'll give you some I live in Montana you'll be able to sniff my sent out once you get across the borderline

Topguns: on one condition; what do you look like?

**Rosebudz has signed in**

Rosebudz: EMMETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Topguns: coming Rosie dearest

**Topguns has signed out**

**Rosebudz has signed out**

**Cuddlekinz has signed out**

Rose_an_dimmi: ok, well I have to go Demitri is calling me bye!

**Rose_an_dimmi has signed out**

Cuddlekinz: oh no Jacob fell into the river again; stupid wolf can't swim, got to go bye-bye daddy and mommy!

**Cuddlekinz has signed out**

Anti-werewolf: I better go help Nessie or she'll be drowned to, you would think Jacob in wolf form could swim

**Anti-werewolf has signed out**

Jazzypants: hey Alice do you want to go stain Edward's piano to make him mad?

Pixiewithagift: hehe yes be right there darling!

**Jazzypants has signed out**

**Pixiewithagift has signed out**

Vampwolf: I'M A WEREWOLF WOOF WOOF!!!!!! AWOOOOOO

**Vampwolf has signed out**

Thanks for reading I promise there will be more coming soon! And if you were wondering Bella is going to not be high in the next one just to make that clear.


	3. Chapter 3: Allergies

Chapter 3: Allergies

**Rosalie: rosebudz**

**Bella: vampwolf**

**Edward: anti-werewolf**

**Jacob: nessieluver**

**Emmett: topguns**

**Esme: myhubbysparklz**

**Carlisle: **

**Alice: pixiewithagift**

**Jasper: jazzypants**

**Renesmee: cuddlekinz**

**has logged on**

**Nessieluver has logged on**

**topguns as logged on**

**WHATNOWBIOCH! has logged on**

WHATNOWBIOCH!: IM ALLERGIC TO GARFEILD!!!!!!!!!!!

**WHATNOWBIOCH! has logged off**

topguns: thats not weird *sarcasm*

nessieluver:umm, ya, you know i'm allergic to fish

drmcdreamy: well then you wont get proper nutreants if you dont eat right, dear sweet tommy

nessieluver: ummmmmm okay then

**nessieluver has logged out**

drmcdreamy: that whas very rude tommy i must DISPOSE OF YOU NOW YOU OBESE LITTLE CHILD!!!!!!!!!!

**drmcdreamy has logged out**

**pixiewithagift has logged in**

pixiewithagift: Emmett carlsile accedntally sniffed your stash

topguns: i do realize this scroll up

pixieiwthagift: you know i'm allergic to flowers

topguns: im allergic to roses

**rosebudz has logged on**

rosebuds: thats not funny emmett, no sex for a month!

topguns: aw rose come on cant ya take a joke?!

**rosebudz has logged off**

**topguns has logged off**

pixiewithagift: and edward should be here fuming in 5..4..3..2..1

**anti-werewolf has logged on**

anti-werewolf: GOD DANG IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN WHERE THE DUCE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!

pixiewithagift: oh shes with jacob at the bonfire and nice stewie lingo

anti-werewolf: umm okay, lingo? and thatnks i gotta call jacobs cell, im allergic to potato stew

pixiewithagift: okay that was very random and =P ha u dont eat so how could you be allergic to it?

anti-werewolf: back in 1907 i figured it out the hard way

pixiewithagift: okay ew TMI TMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**pixiewithagift has logged off**

anti-werewolf: damn it bellas there to!

**anti-werewol has logged out**

okay srry it was kinda short im havin a brain fart right now but more will be comin soon!


	4. Chapter 4: HOUSE OF NIGHT!

Welcome to twichat!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Srry I havnt written in a while. School an stuff really tied me up!

Yaaaa an sadley I don't own twilight. Only Stephanie meyer does. That lucky woman!!!!!!

Rosalie: rosebudz

Bella: vampwolf

Edward: anti-werewolf

Jacob: nessieluver

Emmett: topguns

Esme: myhubbysparklz

Carlisle:drmcdreamy

Alice: pixiewithagift

Jasper: jazzypants

Renesmee: cuddlekinz

**vampwolf has signed on**

**anti-werewolf has signed on**

**cuddlekinz has signed on**

**topguns has signed on**

**nessieluver has signed on**

* * *

cuddlekinz: hey! lts play a game!!!!!!!!

nessieluver: ok what game?

cuddlekinz: its called truth or dare! ok, ill start, emmett truth or dare?

topguns: ummmmmmmmm dare, no truth, dare, truth, dare, truth!!!!!!! ummm eerrrrrgh..... THARE!!!!!!!

cuddlkinz: umm, okay, truth. if edeward died and rose ran off would u go after bella?

topguns: hmmmmmmmmmmmm. sisi. oka eddie truth or dare?

anti-werewolf: 1:STOP CALLING ME EDDIE!!!!!! and 2, i chose dare

topguns: i dare u 2 like a HIPPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anti-werewolf: a hippo? where will i find a hippo?

vampwolf: umm, edward, OBVIOUSLEY THE ZOO!!

littlemiss-imperfect: ya eddikinz!! gawd where have u been for the last 108 years?

all except littlemiss-imperfect: who are you?

littlemiss-imperfect: im the creator of this chatrooom, sillies!!!!!!! gawd get with the program! kk well i have new frands 4 u 2 meet!!!!!!! yaaaay!!!!!!!!

**littlemiss-imperfect has logged out**

**the-red-one has logged on**

**miss-z has logged on**

**iluvtwist has logged on**

**chocolate mocha has logged on**

**vanilla icee has logged on**

miss-z:hi im zoey

the-red-one: howdey yall!! im stevie rae

iluvtwist: heeey!! im damien!

chocolate mocha: wazzup im shawnee!!!! hey twin!

vanilla icee: he im erin! an hi twin

cuddlekinz: OMYGOD IS THE HOUSE OF NIGHT GANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

miss-z: yuppers tats us!!!

**topguns has logged out**

**anti-werewolf has logged out**

**nessieuver has logged out**

thet-red-one: whyd they all jus leave?

vampwolf: they hate our obsession with your books

cuddlekinz: ya! u guyz r awsome!!!!!

chocolate mocha: thank you! we kno!

**winged-manbeast has logge on**

winged-manbeast: hello, my a-ya.

miss-z: GAH!!! KALONA GO AWAY!!!!!!!!! U CANT HAVE A COMPUTER!!!!!!!

winged-manbeast: but my darling....

miss-z: NO!! I AM SOOOOOO NOT DEALING WITH THIS!!!!! U STIPID LITTLE BUTTNUGGET!!!!!!!!!!!

winged-manbeast:.......

miss-z: SPIRIT AIR WATER FIRE EARTH BANISH THIS FALLEN ANGEL FROM THE INTERNET!!!!! and get me a taco......

**winged-manbeast has beeen disconnected by the elements from the internet**

the-red-one: daang z u whooped him reall good.

vanilla icee: ya z. o crap lenobia wants us!!!!!!!

all HOS crew: byez!!!

**ALL H.O.S CREW SIGNED OFF**

cuddlekinz: OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GET TO MEET THE HOUSE OF NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vampwolf: i kno!!!!!!!!! alice is gonna be so jelouse!!!!!!!

**NESSIELUVER has signed on**

nessieluver: enchiladas!!!!!!!!!

**nesieluver has signed off, barking as he does**

**cuddlekinz:**mommy does jake have rabies again?

vampwolf: yes nessie he does, better get the robutussin.

**cuddlekinz and vampwolf have signed off.**

KK THNKZ 4 READING!!!! MO COMIN SOON!!!!! IN THE MEAN TIME READ MY NEW FANFIC ARCTIC DREAMS!!!! COME ON!!! THE ONLY ONE SGETTIN ATTENTION R THIS AN DYIN ROSE!!!! o ya and comment please!!!! during the next few chats we will be having questionaires so i would absolutley to hear ur questions for the cullens nessie and jake. kay bye!!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5: Vampire idol

welcome tooooo....... TWICHAT!!!!!! dindingdingdingding!!!!!!!!! lolz kk welllllll, i got jazzy poo (jasper) to do the disclaimer!!

jazzpants: do i really have to do this?

littlemiss-imperfect: yes jasper u do.

jazzypants: but WHYYYYYY

littlemiss-imperfect: JASPER MARIE HALE WHITLOCK SAY THE DISCLAIMER RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN!!!!

jazzypants: littlemiss-imperfect does not own twilight, only stephanie me- waait. MARIE?????

A/N some of the screennames have changed sooooo ya

**rosealie:rosebudz**

**nessie: singingurl**

**bella: vampwolf**

**edward: dazzle-u-sparkles**

**carlisle: drmcdreamy**

**esme: madre**

**emmett: topgunz**

**alice: pixiewithagift**

**jasper: jazzypants**

**littlemiss-imperfect: izzy**

**jacob: sexywolf**

* * *

**signinggurl has logged on**

**sexywolf has logged on**

**izzy has logged on**

**vampwolf has logged on**

**topgunz has logged on**

izzy: HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TOO VAMPIRE IDOL!!!!!!!!

everyone except izzzy and nessie: what?

signinggurl: thats right!! were gonna SIGN!!!!!!! oooo i spelled that wrong!!!!! sing! lolz

izzy: okay nessie u first!! rules are..........THERE ARE NO RULES JUST SING

singingurl: *sings bella's lullaby by the bella cullen projet* how was that?

izzy: YAAAY!!! IM SOO SAD THEY BROKE UP!!!!!! U ARE AMAZING, AND 16 TOO WOW! OK JAKE UR NEXT

SEXYWOLF: uhhhhhhhhh........

singingurl: awww comon jakeypoo just sign a random song!!!!

sexywolf: well, okay. *signs down by jay sean* okay im done so bye

izzy: wow *almost faints, holds chair for support and fans face with papers* that was HAWT!!!!! ur an nessie are goin to hollywood!!!! okay emmet ur turn!

topgunz: yes!!!!*sings dance and does funny napolean dynamite dance as he sings* cha!!!!

izzy: wow, emmett...that was...well, different. but okay ur in!!!

topgunz: HA YES!!!*clacks heels and jumps offstage*

izzy: okay, nect is........eddie

**dazzzle-u-sparkle has logged on**

dazzle-u-sparkle: ehhhh, what?

nessie and izzy: comon eddie sing!!!!

dazzle-u-sparkle: ummm okay? *sings one time by justin beiber. sounds horrible and out of tune* okay bye

**dazzle-u-sparkle has logged out**

izzy: *pulls out earplugs* man that was bad! he is OUT!! okay bela ur next!!!

vampwolf: *sings switzerland by bella cullen project*

izzy: bella, very nice, congrats ur in okay alice ur next. oo i kno what ur gonna sing!!

**pixiewithagift has logged on**

pixiewithagift: yaay! my turn!!!!!!!! *sings pixie with a gift by bella cullen project*

izzy: wow! u sounded just like them!! u are IN!!!"

pixiewithagift: ha!! in ur face eddie!!!!!!

izzy: haha.... okay, next is....um.....aro?

**arobaby has logged on**

arobaby: thank you deary. *sings make me smile from youtube video ferrets* now wasnt that marvoleous!!

izzy: umm, tat was really bad, but, i dont wanna get killed so ur in!

arobaby:heehee!! *aro laugh*

izzy: okay, how did he get here? aanywhoooo were out of time for now. but if u wanna kno who the best simger it wass......

arobaby: *menacing look*

izzy: ummmmm. aro!! yay aro!!! heehee *nervouse laugh* *whispers* actualy it was jake and nessie!

A/N ok thanks!!!!! vote for your favorite signer by clicking the little greeen button!!! come on clik it!! it feels lonley!!


End file.
